wakey wakey hands off snakey
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
