Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
