I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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