awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
