Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize