guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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