Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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