Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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