return my video game
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
