Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
