This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
