I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
