I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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