You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
