My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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