I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
