oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
50% drunk capacity currently
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
