hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
