Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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