Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize