You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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