stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
