How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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