Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize