I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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