is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
lets start a swedish sibling band together
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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