and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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