i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
