grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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