dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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