She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
