She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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