And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
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He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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