i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
