The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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