he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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