whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
