I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
