am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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