if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
