I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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