my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
