I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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