Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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