So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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