Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
