he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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