In America we eat man semen.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
