Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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