I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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