hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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