i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
