It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it was like eating out sand paper
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
