it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
