I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize