You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
