hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
