So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Someone signed my nipple.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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