dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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