when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
someone owes me an orgasm
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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