walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
