wat bout pragnant strippers??
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
