I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ladies don't puke and tell
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
