Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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