420 ftw
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
