What did we do last night that was yellow?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
