It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
