Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
