We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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